Saturday, January 19, 2013

The Memories

The Sun rose absolutely well. With the same gleam. Glitter. Shine. Woke me up early in my 18,000 square foot of the bungalow. I was confronting sun rays. Soothing me. With many crusades I manage to lift over my bed sheet. Left my cozy bed. The day seems to be genuine. Wear my Adidas adiStar Salvation 3 shoes. And went for jogging. A pre-decided 2.7 kilometers jog over a sidewalk from pre-defined aisle in pre-defined time at pre-defined speed at pre-decided location in well-planned locality of New Mumbai. Far away from chaos and dhakka-bukki.

Am 30. And still single. Bachelor. Unmarried. Marriage proposals increasing exponentially each day, and my rejection ratio was catching with the same pace. But most important thing is – I am Happy!! :)

Back home. Rang the bell and servant came running and exhaling a lot of air articulated, “Sir! We are ending up with all groceries and no servant is home!” I said,”Hmm!! At least try to make something from remain-over from last night.” He shook his head so furiously in negation as nothing is possible and if I didn’t make any arrangement we shall die of starving. Then I proposed him and presented myself to go for groceries instead of ordering him. I was free that day. In minutes I was up in proper formals from track pants and sando. I wore a checks Levi’s shirt with fluctuation of only two colors; white-red with monkey-wash Armani jeans to match it. Ignited my BMW-M6 (Bavarian Motor Works-I ascertain very few are aware of this) and direct myself to Wall Mart.

Viewed list of edibles and procured myself to groceries column. It is my first time here. Few of enlisted things were in the cart and few are up to 2nd floor. I entered in the lift. Pressed No. 2 and the doors were shut.
With the blink of an eye I saw a girl persisting towards me (or being precise with my left). But instead of halting the door from closing I kept on watching that girl. Lift initiated with impel and thus my thoughts regarding that girl. My mind started coming up with questions. Many ‘????’ was popping-up over my head. Cupid’s arrow penetrated directly into the heart. That face seemed conversant. And a song played in my head by great Late Kishor Kumar – Ajnabi tum jane pehchane se lagte ho. Kya tumne kabhi wada kai tha kisi sathi se? Na woh pyar raha, na woh baat rahi. Phirbhi jaanee kyu..!!! Sath chale, mod pe aake hume chod dia. Forgot the rear lyrics. Reaching atop I bent to same proximity to see if she is still there; I examined her properly. And gave re-birth to memories in teenage. Human membrane seems to be so strong sometimes.

I ran back in the memory lane. 10 years back-to-the-past even faster than Michael Fox (actor from Back to the Future). Where you cherish your beautiful moments. Somewhere in them you remember those beautiful mos spent with a very beautiful person. That first meeting and love at first sight (Kyuki ek Najar main prayer hota hai. Maine experience kia hai!). Engraving to wish her happy birthday first among friends. Every little talk ranging from 10 sec call of “Call me back!!” to 1 hr 30 min jabbering till AirTel cut the call and then make HER realize – Ohh Gosh!! We talk the hell. It’s too late, have to sleep now. Then you are like ‘I want to sue Mr. Sunil Mittal or TRAI president for making this proprietary’. And then in no time tears start shedding down the chin. Eyelashes can no more deal those salty tears (as they have higher density so does weight). Still baffled to what is happening you go deeper in the itinerary. Certainly a picture comes up. Well defined. Well remembered. As fresh as first look. Doesn’t matter even if it was 10 years ago. You try to control all shedding tears. But futile.

Finally you go into the core of the memories and you still realize you are witnessing the same place where you were 10 years ago. From miniature of teacher-teacher to school playgrounds to college days. Willing to meet someone with the same intensity, same enthusiast and same amazement! Then you remember those unsuccessful attempts to express her your feelings and finally writing those five page love letters in what you wasted the whole night to give it to her and make this a special Valentine Day a day to remember for whole life. Early morning you realize the D-Day is up to give it to express. But can’t. All of your friends try to boost-up the testosterone in you with dialogues like ‘Ladka hai na tu ki chakka hai! Ja agee badh.’,’ Aj nahi toh kabhi nai.’,’Abe saale woh kamina bhi try karr raha uss pe. You want her to go with him?’ And you go up to her. But can’t utter a single word except, “You solved yesterday’s assignment?”

And next second you hear an employee announcing some un-needy, irritating offer as how cheap their products are as compared to local retailers ‘Off!! Off!! Off!! 50% off on all products from this-this company. Just for 2 days.’ (Yes! You import it directly from production line without screening. They are supposed to and hardly anyone gives a damn. And that offer remains to be same even after eons. Oops! The story). Brought me in the present tense. Still thinking of all the things and wished if they turn-out in reality. But they don’t. Law of Attraction too has certain limits.

You rubbed your wet eyes and hear a sweet sound (which is rare in the Wall Mart’s announcement), “Sanket is that you? Remember me? I used to be your best friend a decade ago?” I galloped my saliva to produce some words. But I went dumb. Numb. She was the same girl. Who came rushing into the lift. “I saw you in that lift. I have flown towards you but...” WOW! She was coming for me and not lift. Mesmerized. But she stopped after watching my awkward reaction.

Butterflies started flying in the heart. Goosebumps all over the body. Eyes still wet. Mind calculating so many things at the same instance, doing time-travel – past, present and future. I finally aired some words, “Sorry! But am not Sanket.” I lied. Her facial expression changed in arcsecond. “They say there are seven identical people in the world.” I continued. “You just meet one of them.” She doesn’t feel satisfied. “Sorry! But I thought it was him.” final words that my ears witnessed. And she was gone. Leaving me in a dead silence. I thought it’s too late now for everything. Mang mein sindur and mangalsutra was seeable. It is easy for friendship to convert into love...but love back to friendship IMPOSSIBLE!!

© Sanket Thodge
Things are changed. After ten years I finally realized the fact. Life waits for no one. It goes on!
How hard you try for someone, to impress them, to show them your love, to prove it passing second all in vain if you can’t show it at the right juncture. At right moment!! Always Express to Impress!

A rejected proposal is well digested from beloved person,
Than that person been unaware of those untold feelings!

 She was the love of my life. My best friend. My soul-mate. Still as beautiful as when I first saw her first when I was learning ‘ABCD’. People say when love of life is missed only heart breaks, but they are wrong. Every body parts develop cracks. Goes mourn. The throat becomes dry. Cheeks remain cold. Eyes welled-up with tears and heart...EMPTY!

If I had the chances,
If I had the breaks
Could have been a winner
I had what it takes
But I wasn't in the right place
At the right time.
Didn't have the rhythm,
Didn't have the rhyme.
I wasn't in the right place
At the right time.
Could've been a contender,
Could've been a star.
Never reached the finals,
Didn't get that far
'Cos I wasn't in the right place
At the right time.
Didn't have the rhythm,
Didn't have the rhyme.
I wasn't in the right place

-Starlight Express track, Rocky

That day and today; many things were changed. India’s GDP has outperformed entire Eurozone. Quarterly profit of all software companies has sprung up many folds. Now India has its own software market. America plays no factor in the world economy. Inflation seems a thousand miles from sea shore. And India in governing by youngsters (comparing as if my decision to propose that girl would hamper the BSE and NSE). The only thing that retained was her feelings for me which I never gave a chance to evolve. From best friend to what-ever-it-could. Its fate remained on the fence. Undetermined. Only things that are left are regrets and depressed in what-if-I-should-have-expressed feelings. Things might have been dissimilar.

I can just see her walk down the escalator. Trotting away. Leaving behind those obscure crystals settled on my face (some even trapped in beard). But nothing was potential. Again I checked my iPad-7 and checked all the items enlisted. And headed back to home and radio played relatable song.

sang dil tanhai..sang laai Yaad teri sang laai
baar baar woh bahaar phir se Yaad aayi
sooni sooni raah dil ki jisne thi sajaai
tanha dil

har taraF bikhare hai teri Yaad ke hi nishaan
meri har eik cheez mein hai teri hi parchaaiyaan

tu hi hota hai..tu hi rehta hai mujh mein har dum sadda
paas bhi tu hai..door bhi tu hi..hai Yeh kaisi khala
Yaad banke ashq teri aankhon mein samaai
Yaad banke eik hansi honton pe bhi aayi
tanha dil

chaand suraj bhi wahin hai..hai wahin aasmaan
zindagi bhi chal rahi hai..chal raha hai jahaan

mein hi thehra hoon khud mein simta hoon..dil hai gham se bhara
bin tere kaise jiuun main..kuch toh de mashwara
zindagani aisi rehguzar pe mujhko laai
saaye se bhi abb tere ho gai judaai
tanha dil
roya re dil roya re!!

Aren’t there any such possibilities that few of us might face the same catastrophe? Where awfully we are the person aware of our intuitive feeling. It’s only us who are copping every day to cover it with a smile. Where we handle the burden of everything...even after years. Hope so no one in this world is left in this enthalpy without expressing them. Cause sometimes,

Fiction reveals truth that reality obscures!

Best of Luck dear readers! :)

[P.S. The above story is a complete work of fiction. It has no resemblance to reality (am 20 is the proof). Just incase this matches up with someone please consider it a mere co-incidence. And if you still want to take me to international court please do the arrangement of my airline fares and a linguist and a lawyer and extra charges that I will be levied by my service provider and a list of famous tourist spots in your country. Yeah! That would neither help your country’s endangered tourism but I will do my bit.]

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Keywords: adidas, airtel, bmw, bse, dhokha, eurozone, fiction, friendship, ipad, love, mall, nse, quote, rocky, straight express track, wallmart, mall, old love, umtold love