Take Your Chance!!

Setting the tone!! ;)

I was watching “Life In A.. Metro” a movie about many individuals who are facing their own challenges with relationships and happiness bounding to it.

We have two characters in the movie, first is Irrfan Khan – a 38 year old guy frustrated for not getting married who fails to be in criteria of normal guys. Second is Konkana Sen Sharma, she is a 28 year girl-next-door who has her challenges being deprived of hot looks and layers of makeup. Thus misses many guys! Finds a hot guy, dates him to find that he is a gay. Ruining her life in best possible way!!

Irrfan and Konkana meet over a cup of coffee and Konkana rejects him. After few months they coincidentally join the same office and spend time together at a sea shore.

Irrfan ask Konkana as why she rejected him.

Irrfan – What’s the reason you rejected me?

Konkana – Because you were staring at the objectionable part of my body. I didn’t like it.

Irrfan – I am 38 and I haven’t touched any girl, as you are so beautiful with perfect body and you are saying.. and Irrfan continues clearing out the fog. But like Delhi fog it failed to disappear.

Konkana – The guy I like might never behave this way.

Irrfan – What’s your imagination of a perfect guy?

Konkana – Should be normal.. Caring.. Sensitive.. Reading books.. Sense of humour.. Loving.. Caring.. Loves travelling.. Knowledgeable.. Creative..

Irrfan – I have a friend; he bought a car 5 years back and is still rotting in the garage. He never used it. He said that he is only going to drive car when all signals will be green in the city.

Konkana – That’s dumb guy, unless and until you don’t take out the car how are you going to find out if signal is green or not.

Irrfan -  Exactly!! Take your car out. Take your chance.

Most of us don’t take that chance “your chance” of confessing the feelings and letting the person know about it.

Don't ever wait for a perfect person, neither the perfect match!! No one is perfect in the world. Perfect person and perfect match both are relative from person to person. Imperfection brings the lame things that we do, moment we hog our food, moment we slide on the aisle or the moment we spill water makes us laugh. But what if we have the most ideal person, life would be so boring to live. I don't want a perfect life!!

We need to take life more lightly!!

I am almost 25 :D

There are obvious reasons we avoid confessing the next person know about emotions, probably because we are not ready for commitment, fear of missing out best friend, career, past relationships or sometimes just we can’t gather the courage.

But believe me it’s never that hard to express feelings. I have been rejected by few and I have rejected few. But that’s really okay!! And this doesn't mean you can't love again. You have this one life to find the right person, if one says No it’s certainly not the end of the world. Take your time to get stable but don’t let that one person from the past ruin the beautiful future. The future which holds the power of witnessing and working on all the dreams together.

For me on most occassions I have fell for a girl is compatibility - finding things in common!! If she is also into songs I hear, shows I watch, hobbies I pursue then mind and heart automatically starts dreaming of the unlimited things that can be done together.

In my case there is a major problem with me. I often like old music by singers like Gulzar, Kishore Kumar, Jagjit Singh. Loves some sensible bollywood movies like The Lunchbox, Life In a Metro, Stanley Ka Dabba,  Swades. Shows I prefer are FRIENDS, Sarabhai vs Sarabhai. Hollywood includes watching multiple times Harry Potter, The Interstellar (and I actually know about all astrophysics part mentioned in Interstellar), Inception, Jurassic Park and possibly all science fiction movies.

I hate Big Boss, music by Yo Yo Honey Singh and Mahesh Bhatt movies – which majority of the population like.

These things make me stand awkward and stupid in-front of normal world. In return I am uncomfortable with many people and I often speak intellectual stuff which many people don’t understand!! And worst of all I can’t flirt and I am hopeless. In short a mixture of Chandler and Ross - a perfect girl repellant :D (FRIENDS fan will understand it).

Easiest and best option that I see in such situation is to consider myself Tea and next person as Coffee, with one common element – Sugar!! :)

Whatever you want to do but never bombard
your feind's timeline with quotes and song lyrics :D :D :D

This sugar leads to communications; this communication leads to multiple meets and this meet to building trust – three essential things for every relationship, friendship to family bonds.

This common sugar leads to endless possibilities of exploring each others, which becomes the connection to each other’s soul. Next person might be having Game of Thrones as favourite series which gives me an opportunity to see it. But what if next person prefer saas-bahu daily soap? :D Fail, sugar is missing and salt can’t go with Tea now!!

And even if we had a bad past experience doesn’t mean we will confront same thing every day. Dumping and betraying is the part and parcel of our journey. If we kept cribbing with past then we have no present or future.

This reminds me of a quote from Kung Fu Panda by Master Oogway – Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is Mystery, Today is a Gift. That’s why it is called PRESENT!!

Not going ahead with the next person because of a horrible past is like you have been to Essel World, first ride was frightening so you skip all others. Or like avoiding SRK’s “DDLJ” (Oct 1995) after watching “Oh Darling! Ye Hain India!” (August 1995). Or losing out scuba diving opportunity in Great Barrier Reef because in childhood you gulped some water down your nostrils.

That huge is what we misses out when we keep ourselves confined to past and are reluctant to explore future.

To get over the fear of everything that you are afraid to do in life there is one scene from movie “We Bought A Zoo”. It states you just need those 20 seconds of insane courage.

In this scene Matt Damon asks guy what's up with Lily. Guy has not told Lily that he likes her so Matt explains - Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, just literally 20 seconds of embrassing bravery and I promise to you something great will come of it!!

Screenshots from the comments below this video –

Some failed

Some nailed

I believe life is full of surprises. Stephen Hawking beautifully narrated life –

“We are on a minor planet of a very average star located within the outer limits of one of a hundred thousand million galaxies. Are your problems really significant in light of this?

You walk this Earth for but a short time. Why not become devoted to having only a wonderful experience. Why not dedicate yourself to leaving a powerful legacy to the world? Sit down now and write out a list of all that you have in your life.”

I see many people finding it hard and confused to go ahead and take that leap of faith. Closing quote from Superman movies “Man of Steel!” - Sometimes, you have to take a leap of faith first. The trust part comes later.

Hope after reading this there will be many people who will be taking that leap of faith and be a superman of their lives. :)

Even if you failed there is no reason to be upset of - keep yourself busy to the core, take up new hobby (I am trying Harmonica and Scuba Diving now), build a skill, volunteer for NGO or best build a company. Just one life and so many things to try.

Nakhre utha iske nakhre utha

Haan dhoop bhi yehi hai

Chaanv bhi yehi hai

Joh bhi yeh kehti hai, tu maan ja

Kho jaana, paa jaana, na paana

Hai zindagi jaan le

Bik jaana, loot jaana, bas jaana

Hai zindagi jaan le

Joh kal gaya woh phir se aata nahin

Ho ho ho guzra hua joh waqt hai

Woh dastak lagata nahin

Kyun zindagi se ho shikva gila

Yeh hasti hai roti hai

Joh bhi hai jaisi hai

Joh bhi yeh deti hai woh hai tera

Kar salaam ... kar salaam!!

- Kar Salam, Life In A Metro ( Pritam, 2007)

All the best with those 20 seconds of courage, do mail me with what happen next!! ;)

Read the below article to know what happens when you get along with wrong partner.

http://www.hrtwarming.com/46-yeold-banker-finds-out-his-wifes-been-cheating-for-10-years-posts-this-on-facebook/

Like this blog?

Please subscribe through your e-mail on the top-left and like my blog's Facebook page on the top - right. Else CLICK HERE

Want to read more? CLICK HERE to read all blogs in categorized version.

To contact me CLICK HERE

Keywords: blog, love, friendship, relationship, matt damon, life in a metro, pune, we bought a zoo, friends, chandler, ross

I’m 23! Non-alcoholic, non-smoker, vegetarian. And proud ‘sXe’!

Disclaimer: With this blog I do not want to hurt anyone’s sentiments but expecting a small change in mindset.

The world might judge you for not drinking, but you know you are awesome! - Zomato :)
Zomato nailed it again!! :)

May be this is the first blog I am writing on Me – Mr. Sanket Ravi Thodge. What so significant about writing things about me? But there is something I want the world to know and my perspective towards life. And many others who are alike me.

A decade ago in my school days, trotting somewhere between 7^th or 8^th standard learning Algebra, Geography, History, Science. Peak of teenage and my friends were discovering few adolescence stuff. Exploring a new erotic word in Oxford Mini Dictionary was giving a proud feeling which even Vasco Da Gama wouldn’t have felt that way after exploring sea route to India. Hormonal changes, beard/moustache, heavy voice, and attraction towards porn. Yes!! Suddenly things must have got interested for many of the readers.

That was the tender age when many of my friends started collecting DVDs, CDs of porn all over the world. Brunette, lesbian, gangbang, they felt like song genre at first. Naturally it was fascinating! Intimate for a 14-15 year old guy. Very intimate!! But a typical 14-15 year guy. NOT ALL! May be I was one of those ‘HYPOCRITE’s.

I shifted as tenant in new city Akola for my High School studies. People were carrying memory cards full of adult videos. I was generally fired a question by few of them, “Why you show no interest in porn? Don’t you feel excited?” And my usual answer used to be, “I find them disgusting.” Then there used to be huge debate for the reason why I don’t watch porn. I couldn’t convince anyone of them. This in turn was separating me from group on many instances. Left out on many occasions!

Yes!! I am posting this blog at 3:30 am
on a Saturday morning  after spending Friday
evening in writing this blog

On many instances people used to stop talking about girls just because I was around. Thinking I might get hurt. I was lucky enough to have friends who were feeling my presence.

Now I was in my graduation days. In graduation having alcohol, smoking, having non-vegetarian food was the definition of fun. And yes I was exact opposite to all this – non-alcoholic, non-smoker, vegetarian. This was enough to again detach me from being a customary average guy. I was the person from the group who prefers Frroti-Slice over Pepsi-Coca Cola. And I still am!

For many people it was even hard to believe that people like me exist in this world. I never felt like SUPERHERO or something, but felt pity of myself; am I weird to the world? Have I failed to fit into this globe? Was me not watching porn a decade ago a mistake? Can I do the damage control by starting drinking now?

But I continued being same, my conscience stood strong by me.

I am 23 now and working in an IT company as Hadoop Developer. Corporate world! Most of my friends now have money to spend lavishly; on shopping, in pubs and on their girlfriends. I am doing nothing of these things.

But yes I do charity, I bought novels to read, I help specially enabled blind friends, I spend money on an online course, I go on a bike ride!! For me definition of enjoyment stood here.

In a typical day of office I was asked by colleague, “You don’t drink, you don’t smoke. Do you even have girlfriend?” I said “No”. Next exclamation was, “Why are you staying in Pune? Go in ******* city [Won’t mention city name as it might hurt locals of that city] and spend life there?”

But this time I was well prepared, I exclaimed “Life and fun is not all about girls and drinks, there are many other things that define fun.” Colleague said, “Like what?” I proclaimed, “Travelling, trekking, reading!” with a confused look colleague asked “College is over! Who is the world reads?” I said, “Novels are there. And ya writing. That’s my favourite hobby.” I gave colleague no chance to say anything and continued, “I am third best travel blogger in India by the way. Have won three national level fiction writing competition and have got my blog featured in Times of India’s Speaking Tree column.” I smiled and with a deep breath and continued, “I have also developed my own investment model which predicts the Sensex. On LinkedIn my profile was 469^th most visited profile out of 3,18,000 profiles of TCS employees on LinkedIn. Have worked with UNO, in a global event...!”

Words proclaimed by him will remain with me for years, “I am blessed to meet you in my life. Never meet a person till today. You are really talented and...” praise continued for another 5 minutes and he ended it with “...got the reason why you don’t have a girlfriend.”

A quote from Robin William's movie
'Dead Poets Society'

I, as a person would judge someone only how he/she treats his/her peers, I would never look someone in disbelief who drinks or smokes provided he/she is doing it responsibly. You have many girlfriends, be happy with that; I would never say you are a pervert. It’s your choice to have them. You drink a lot and after drinking asks your friend to drop you home in your vehicle, you earned my respect. You are engaged in gambling but also sponsoring a girl’s education, I respect you.

Me as a person would never-ever judge someone by what you eats or drinks or wear, but from your character. That defines who you are. Each of us is unique in itself. Don’t force someone to be you, just because you like being yourself.

If you still think that drinking and smoking is cool here is the list of celebrities who are sober – Bradley Cooper, Russel Brand, Mathew Perry (F.R.I.E.N.D.S), Eminem, Jennifer Lopez, Tobey Maguire (Spider Man), Robert Downey Jr (Iron Man), Kim Kardashian.

Celebrities who are vegetarian? Yes, I have got their list as well – Mike Tyson, Pamela Anderson, Russel Brand (again), Bill Clinton, Benjamin Franklin, M K Gandhi, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Steve Jobs, Leo Tolstoy, Leonardo Da Vinci, Issac Newton, Nikola Tesla, Shrinivasa Ramanujan, Edward Witten (founder of String Theory).

People who don’t consume alcohol, don’t smoke-tobacco-drugs are termed as ‘Straight Edge’ or sXe. Be proud if you are sXe, we are unique people left in the world.

Remaining non-alcoholic, non-smoker, vegetarian is also a challenge. Sharing some questions from Quora who faces the situation just like me –

http://www.quora.com/I-dont-smoke-or-drink-People-say-I-am-not-enjoying-life-properly-or-I-am-not-mature-Do-smoking-and-drinking-really-enhance-the-personality

http://www.quora.com/Have-people-that-dont-drink-missed-enjoying-some-part-of-life

http://www.quora.com/I-am-a-28-year-old-guy-I-dont-smoke-or-drink-due-to-which-I-am-left-out-at-times-Should-I-start-drinking-I-have-heard-it-helps-to-get-down-your-sorrows-too

http://www.quora.com/I-am-a-very-simple-girl-I-dont-drink-or-smoke-or-party-or-shop-unnecesarily-I-have-few-friends-maximum-of-them-who-do-what-I-dont-I-am-not-very-rich-and-I-would-rather-save-than-spend-They-consider-me-boring-When-I-try-to-do-all-this-stuff-I-enjoy-but-eventually-feel-guilty-What-should-I-do

http://www.quora.com/I-am-a-vegetarian-and-I-dont-drink-or-smoke-but-many-friends-force-me-and-tell-me-Im-missing-something-in-your-life-I-often-get-tempted-to-try-How-should-I-control-myself

Luna Lovegood!! < 3

For many of you may be I perfectly define definition of a HYPOCRITE PERSON!! And yes I don’t verbally abuse, don’t go to McD/Subway/Dominos/pubs and am still a virgin (better to clear air before someone judges me).

But yes I do adventure; I have done white-water rafting, paragliding, rock climbing, rappelling. Explored most part of India. Works for a NGO. Help people in need! Do writing, photography, read novels, techie nerd, sky gazing.

Learnt one huge thing in life, toughest job is not to create yourself or finding yourself but its retaining yourself; who you actually are. And I am extremely happy that I have managed it very well.

I won’t request you to skip smoking or drinking or save animals. I just want to request all of us to give every person in the world a chance to be themselves, because not everyone is the world is not strong enough to sustain their originality!! :)

P. S. Now I will be watching 'Dead Poets Society' before falling asleep. :)

On a lighter note ;) :P Found it interesting!! :)

Like this blog?

Please subscribe through your e-mail on the top-left and like my blog's Facebook page on the top - right. Else CLICK HERE

Want to read more? CLICK HERE to read all blogs in categorized version.

To contact me CLICK HERE

keywords - pune, alcohol, smoking, smokers, non-smokers sober, adolescence, intoxication, hypocrite, robin williams, dead poet society quote, sanket thodge, sxe, straight edge, vegetarian, non-vegetarian